However, last night, I realized that it would probably be helpful to share about the other side of autism -- the dark side of autism - the side that many families live with every day and never get to experience the victories that we are experiencing with Timothy right now.
A typical day with Timothy begins with him having the exact same thing for breakfast every single day -- half a bagel and a scrambled egg. If he does not have that for breakfast, his whole morning can be thrown off. Insistence on routine and sameness is a hallmark characteristic of autism.
After breakfast, we start on his school work. Timothy does most of his schoolwork online through Wilson Virtual Academy. He has done his schoolwork online since third grade. He was in a regular school through second grade. In second grade, he did not have the autism supports he needed to be successful and had a disastrous experience. He cried daily, became angry, and by the end of the year was so scared of kids, getting him to leave home to go ANYWHERE was a battle.
Completing his schoolwork comes with it's own challenges. Timothy is very literal. He gets upset with things like math story problems that he cannot relate to. While he ha a high IQ, he has difficulty processing and expressing information - which makes test taking a challenge. He is easily distracted, and sounds that I may not even be able to hear can drive him crazy. When he becomes overwhelmed or frustrated with an assignment, it's not uncommon for him to have a meltdown.
He goes to West (Middle School) for 6th and 7th period 4 days out of the 6-day cycle. He is a drummer in band, goes to an executive functioning class, social skills class, and art class. He loves Mr. Galan, his autistic support teacher, and looks forward to seeing him each day.
One or two days a week, his behavioral specialist spends time with him. They talk, play games, wrestle, make things, etc. Sometimes we take him out to teach him how to behave appropriately in public settings. Sometimes it goes well -- sometimes it doesn't.
Mealtimes are often a challenge. Timothy is a very picky eater. He also will only eat off of his own plates and using his own forks. He refuses to eat off of a plate that at any time someone else has eaten off of.
Most autistic children have a particular subject that they are obsessed with. Timothy's current obsession is LEGO mini figures. Sometimes it is all he can think about. Even while we were at the Eagles game on Sunday, he spent time obsessing about getting one of the new LEGO mini figures that have just come out. The good part of these obsessions is that it can be used as a motivator/reward system.
When it comes to social interaction, Timothy is less than skilled. He usually talks at people, not to them. He doesn't grasp the concept of the back and forth nature of conversation. Timothy does not like crowds and claims that he is claustrophobic when people are close to him. He easily becomes overwhelmed with crowds, noises, lights, etc. At Sunday's Eagles game, he retreated into his hoodie for a break from all the outside stimulation. He often deals with frustration and being overwhelmed by flapping his hands and making bizarre sounds.
Every autistic child is different. There is a quote that says, "If you have met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism." They are all unique in the way autism affects them. However, the things I have shared about Timothy are all common characteristics of a child with autism - they are often just manifested in different ways.
Given the struggles that autism brings to Timothy, the fact that he is thriving on a football team is nothing short of miraculous, and I will continue to celebrate and enjoy this incredible season in his life. :)
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